Burning It
by annicaspoon
Summary: Find. Rip. Burn. Throw. Burn it away. Burn away the pain. Rid yourself of the reminders. Raven-centric. Hints of BBRae


**Randomly thought of it when I watched Spellbound today.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the craziness and creativity**

**oOo**

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

It's always there, lingering behind, refusing to leave.

_Malchior._

She just wants it to leave.

_Malchior._

To leave her alone.

_Malchior._

To burn away.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

But no matter how many times she burns that name away, it still remains, whispering constantly in her head.

_Malchior._

Her heart.

_Malchior._

It is everywhere.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

Her room is normally kept tidy. She hates having a lot of mess. But nothing is normal anymore. Small bits of paper litter the carpet everywhere, blackening and breaking down into ash as the tiny but hungry fires swallow them whole. The little fires and one single candle are the only sources of light in her room, creating dancing shadows on the walls.

She kneels in the centre of the room, next to the candle and an old thick book, sections of the pages torn out. Flipping through the pages, searching passages for one word.

_Malchior._

Tearing it out wherever it appears.

_Malchior._

Lighting it with the flame of the candle.

_Malchior._

Throwing it away to find the next.

_Malchior._

Find.

_Malchior._

Rip.

_Malchior._

Burn.

_Malchior._

Throw away.

_Malchior._

Find. Rip. Burn. Throw.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

"Um…Raven?"

He's there. He's back. He's escaped from the book and come back.

"What are you doing?" No. It's not him. He hasn't escaped. He isn't back to get her.

She doesn't move. "How did you get in my room?"

"Your door was unlocked. I knocked but you didn't answer." She hears him shuffle his feet. "I came to check on you, which was obviously a good idea." She doesn't answer, doesn't look up. She continues with her process. Find. Rip. Burn. Throw.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

"Raven, what are you doing?" He begins to walk over. Find. Rip. Burn. Throw.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

"Raven…"

Find. Rip. Burn. Throw. Find. Rip. Burn. Throw.

_Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior. Malchior._

"Raven!" A green hand grabs her wrist and snaps her attention away from her mantra. She finally looks up at him and sees the concern on his face. "What are you doing?" he whispers, and she glances around her at the mess she's created, the destroyed book in front of her.

Beast Boy wants an answer, so she gives him one. "I'm getting rid of him," she says, "I'm burning him away." She tries to pull her wrist away, but his grasp is too tight. His gaze is flickering over the scraps of paper. The candle. The book, pages with numerous holes ripped out of it, all able to fit one word.

_Malchior._

Raven yanks her wrist away as he stares at it all. Suddenly the previous weakness is shielded by her cold wall. "I'm dealing," she says between clenched teeth, glaring at him.

Beast Boy continues staring, shaking his head. "Rae, this isn't dealing, this is…" his voice drops, "This is borderline insanity."

Raven turns away from him and goes back to her work. She sees _his_ name again and rips it out. She's not going insane. She's just dealing with it – her own way.

_Malchior. Malchior._

She brushes the paper over the candle. The edges curl and blacken before the piece catches alight. She can't be going insane. She's just trying to get him out of her head.

_Malchior._

She throws the piece away and moves to start again. Beast Boy watches her.

"Raven," he whispers, "Stop."

"I can't." Her voice is just a breath. She feels cold on the edges. She can't stop.

"Sure you can Rae." Their conversation is now just made up of whispers. "You can." Her hands keep moving across paper, until one of his own comes to rest on them. "Raven please," he begs, "Stop."

"I just want him out of my head." Her hands start to tremble.

_Malchior._

"He's not going to leave this way Rae. It won't matter if you burn the whole book, he'll still be there."

"No. He can't He has to go."

"He won't. Not this way. You have to give it time Rae. That's the only way it's going to get better."

"You don't understand!" she hisses and swings around to face him. "He's always there! He's always in my head, taunting me and reminding me of the stupid mistake I made of trusting him. He's always going to be there reminding me that the only person I ever let in was just using me. The only person I ever…" She looks away at the torn and burnt paper pieces. She's not going to cry. "You don't get it," she whispers.

The changeling shakes his head, "Really Rae? I 'don't get it'?" She glances at him and realises what he means.

"Sorry," she whispers.

"Ripping out his name and burning it wherever it comes up in that book does nothing but make you look like a crazy person Rae. You're not crazy, are you?"

Despite herself, she smirks. "We fight so-called super villains everyday; we're both crazy."

"Good point." They sit in silence for a while until Raven pipes up.

"How long does it take?"

"For what?"

"For it to stop."

Beast Boy sighs and picks up some of the blackened paper. "A while," he says, staring hard into the ash as he crushes it and it falls from his fingers.

"Does it ever get better?"

He looks at her. "I hope so." Raven nods, looking down at her hands. They're not flicking through pages anymore. After a quick contemplation she turns to him and hugs him. He returns the hug, then grins at her once she pulls away.

"What is this? Two hugs in one week? Who are you and what have you done with Raven?" Raven rolls her eyes.

"Shut up and enjoy it while it lasts. And if you ever bring it up, I'm claiming temporary insanity and emotional instability."

"Aww, c'mon. Face it, you enjoy hugging me."

"Keep dreaming Beast Boy." He chuckles and stands up.

"If I leave, you're not going to go all crazy paper burning again, are you?" She shook her head. Beast Boy grinned and walked towards the door.

"Beast Boy?" He turned around and faced her, "If you tell the others you're dead."

He grinned. "Don't worry, I figured that the last thing you need is Robin to give you an insanity test."

"Good." She glanced away then looked back at him. "And thanks."

"No problem."

**oOo**

**I didn't proofread it, so there may be a few mistakes. This has got to be the first oneshot I've ever written in one sitting without pausing. Anyway - please review!**

**~Clair-Rae**


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